


another midnight

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, M/M, Prose Poem, Short, Vulcan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:04:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3075017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a new year for an old soul.</p>
            </blockquote>





	another midnight

10.  
memories of your mother flood your mind  
and even though you know she is not with  
you  
her laugh echoes as if  
she was  
you wonder if she  
was happy.

9.  
there are not enough people in this room  
to crowd out your loneliness and  
you wish you could forget  
about everything and  
about them and  
about her.

8.  
your heart feels like it is  
crumbling  
like your planet's crust  
and there is a quiet in your  
mind like the silence  
that will blanket vulcan's  
vanished deserts for eternity.

7.  
skies of deep orange cannot  
be replaced by earth's blue  
but maybe you will make your  
peace with gold and maybe  
you will find a new sun to  
orbit and maybe you will  
find a new home in jim kirk.

6.  
there is laughter all  
around you and this day is  
just like every other except it  
is the start of a new year in the  
gregorian calendar and also  
humans use it to  
begin themselves  
again.

5.  
you think they  
drink to forget what was and  
to remember what will be  
and all you want to do  
is forget but you  
cannot  
because your kind does  
not drink and if you  
stop being vulcan you  
will be nothing except  
for empty you will  
be empty

4.  
it's okay  
to be scared  
but your hands shake when  
you lift your glass and you  
look over your shoulder to  
make sure no one sees and  
they all pretend like you're  
okay and  
you pretend  
too.

3.  
there is an empty seat to  
your right and an empty seat to  
your left and the whole table is  
empty except for  
you and no  
one looks at you except for jim  
and you have never felt a gaze  
so heavy and you have never gone  
so long without blinking.

2.  
and then jim is there  
and it feels as if he always  
has been  
and you are more than whole  
and maybe you do not need to  
start over and maybe you will  
not fall apart when you wake up  
tomorrow but  
maybe you will.

1.  
there is hesitation and  
there is permission and then  
there is a hand on top of  
yours and all you know is  
james tiberius kirk and  
his lips are pressed against  
yours and you will never see  
your home again but you  
have found a new one and  
maybe blue is not the color  
of drowning but of  
salvation.  
they all pretend like you're  
okay and  
you pretend  
too.

3.  
there is an empty seat to  
your right and an empty seat to  
your left and the whole table is  
empty except for you and no  
one looks at you except jim  
and you have never felt a gaze  
so heavy and you have never gone  
so long without blinking.

2.  
and then jim is there  
and it feels as if he always  
has been  
and you are more than whole  
and maybe you do not need to  
start over and maybe you will  
not fall apart when you wake up  
tomorrow but  
maybe you will.

1.  
there is hesitation and  
there is permission and then  
there is a hand on top of  
yours and all you know is  
james tiberius kirk and  
his lips are pressed against  
yours and you will never see  
your home again but you  
have found a new one and  
maybe blue is not the color  
of drowning but of  
salvation.


End file.
